NOTICE: I published and wrote these joke reviews back in 2011 under another name and personality on another website. For prosperity’s sake I’ve placed them here with the correct time stamps and the name octopuss. Enjoy!

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Great men have wrestled with this riddle since it was first asked in the 1880’s, but has anyone considered the tree?
What a tragedy it is for the tree, a great and mighty redwood, hundreds of years old and so incredibly tall it looks as if its scraping up against the sky itself.

 

A mighty old tree, the culmination of so much falls. What a incredible and terrifying sight it must be to see its topple and hear the thunderous noise it made as it hit the ground.

What a tragedy that such a event would go so unappreciated. If only someone was there to see it happen, to appreciate the death of a giant.

But there was someone. Me

I see many a unappreciated tree and on this unappreciated website I’ll write about unappreciated “trees” in articles that surely will be unappreciated themselves.

I’m so indie it hurts

Today’s review: Proun by Joost van Dongen

Proun is a art style that was developed in the 1920’s by Russian artist El Lissitzky (you probably haven’t heard of him)

The game follows this artistic style in full 3D, it looks fantastic and is accompanied by some snazzy music, or at least I think so. Check the trailer and judge for yourself:

 

As you can see it’s a racing game of sorts.  You ride along a cable and use the arrow keys to avoid obstacles.

That’s all there is.

I have to gripe the gameplay is very shallow, it could make this up with content but the game includes only 5 levels. Two of which have to be unlocked, one you unlock for buying it and another for winning the championship in supersonic speed, so without user levels and ignoring repetition the game offers less than 5 minutes of content.

The game stretches this content out with the aforementioned championship mode where you run laps over the same levels over and over again at faster speeds. You are given the illusion that you are racing other players but since they run the same every time and its impossible to interact with them, its really a time trial.

Saddest to me is that the gameplay works against the very thing that makes this game so special: the graphics.  As I’m focusing on avoiding objects so I can go as fast as possible the very last thing on my mind is art appreciation.

I had to take the time to slow down, ignore the rat race and explore the level at my leisure, it was so much more satisfying.  What a profound metaphor for life. Whether this was intentional or accidental I do not know, but that realization that I needed to slow down and limit mental distractions to appreciate things was my favorite part of this small gem of game.

Thanks Joost

-octopuss